I Don't Usually Fly In First Class,

I Bought A Clock, But The Big Hand Broke Off Of It... So I Just Added "ish" To Every Number.

When I'm Buying Car Insurance I Ask Myself, 'which Company Has The Most Annoying And Relentless Commercials?'

I Started Being A Comedy Fan When I Was, I'm Going To Guess, Like 5 Or 6 Years Old.

A Human Head Looks The Least Scary When It Is Attached.

I Like To Go To Concerts Because I Love To See My Favorite Band Through The Phone Of The Asshole Who's Standing In Front Of Me.