I Am What I Eat. And I

I Wanna Put Stickers On Turtles... I Don't Know Why.

Another Term For Balloon Is Bad Breath Holder.

There's A Very Fine Line Between Giving Someone The Heimlich Maneuver And Dry-humping A Stranger.

Sometimes If I Really Want To Get Someone's Attention, I'll Start A Sentence With Something Like, "i'm Not Racist, But..." I Say, "i'm Not Racist, But You Look Great Today." They Say, "that Wasn't Racist At All." I Said, "i Know. I Said I'm Not Racist. You Never Listen. Typical Mexican."

I Thought I Would, You Know, Go To College, Get To Law School, Finish, And Then Get A Job And Work As A Lawyer, But That Proved To Be Not A Good Fit For Me.