I Am What I Eat. And I

I Hate Seeing People That Look Like You. Especially If God's Living By The Motto 'if At First You Don't Succeed.'

How To Be A Bouncer: Be An Asshole; Stand Near A Door.

You Are Ten Times More Likely To Get Hit By A Car When The Driver Is Aiming For You.

I Love Having An Open Seat Next To Me On The Train. What's Even Better Is When My Seat Is Open Too Because I Just Stayed Home.

Suicide Is The #1 Killer Of A Person Who Is In A Boat And Happens To Be Passing Under A Bridge At The Wrong Time.