I Can't Tell You His Age, But

Most Attorneys Practice Law Because It Gives Them A Grand And Glorious Feeling. You Give Them A Grand - And They Feel Glorious.

I Made A Terrible Mistake Last Christmas. My Wife Made Me Swear That I Wouldn't Give Her A Fancy Gift. And I Didn't.

Anytime A Person Goes Into A Delicatessen And Orders A Pastrami On White Bread, Somewhere A Jew Dies.

There Are A Lot Of Things Money Can't Buy. Not One Of Them Is On My Son's List.

I Bought A Christmas Tree For Twenty Dollars. When I Came Home The Next Day, My Wife Was Wearing It In Her Hair.