I Can't Tell You His Age, But

They've Got Plastic Christmas Trees Now. They're Hard To Tell From The Real Aluminum Ones.

Our Tree Was So Puny We Used Orthopedic Bulbs.

Most Attorneys Practice Law Because It Gives Them A Grand And Glorious Feeling. You Give Them A Grand - And They Feel Glorious.

The Last Time I Saw Marilyn Was In Late 1959, When I Appeared In Let's Make Love At Fox. The Wide-eyed Marilyn I Had First Known Was Gone. This Marilyn Was More Beautiful Than Ever.

Your Marriage Is In Trouble If Your Wife Says, 'you're Only Interested In One Thing,' And You Can't Remember What It Is.