I Can't Give Up Golf, I've Got

I Never Kick My Ball In The Rough Or Improve My Lie In A Sand Trap. For That I Have A Caddie.

Golf Is A Funny Game. It's Done Much For Health, And At The Same Time Has Ruined People By Robbing Them Of Their Peace Of Mind. Look At Me, I'm The Healthiest Idiot In The World.

Wine, Women And Song Have Been Replaced By Prune Juice, A Heating Pad And The Gong Show.

Kissing Is Like Drinking Tea With A Tea Strainer, You Can Never Get Enough.

My Next Door Neighbor Just Had A Pacemaker Installed. They're Still Working The Bugs Out, Though. Every Time He Makes Love, My Garage Door Opens.