I Can't Even Get Three Weeks Off

My Dad Was A Ham, Too. He Could Sell Those Women Anything. Of All His Sons, I Was The Only One He Could Trust To Sell As Well As He Could. I Was Proud Of That.

I Don't Understand Why People Don't Remember My Name.

If I Hadn't Become A Celebrity, I'd Probably Be An Alcoholic.

Women Are My Best Friends, My Best Audience. If I Look Out From The Stage And See A Lot Of Men, I Know I'm In Trouble

Outsiders Develop Humor As A Defense; Why Do You Think Most Comedians Are Gay Or Jewish?