I Bought An Ideal Gift For My

I Can't Tell You His Age, But When He Was Born The Wonder Drug Was Mercurochrome.

I Don't Mind Personal Insults, But When You Insult The Jokes That I Tell You're Insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns And Allen, Trevor Mcgee And Molly Picon.

Why Are We Honoring This Man? Have We Run Out Of Human Beings?

My Doctor Told Me That Jogging Could Add Years To My Life. I Think He Was Right. I Feel Ten Years Older Already.

Remember When You Had Your Face Lifted... And The Guy Brought It Back.