I Am Not A Glutton - I

Next To Hot Chicken Soup, A Tattoo Of An Anchor On Your Chest, And Penicillin, I Consider A Honeymoon One Of The Most Overrated Events In The World.

I Was Too Old For A Paper Route, Too Young For Social Security And Too Tired For An Affair.

Every Puppy Should Have A Boy.

It Is Ludicrous To Read The Microwave Direction On The Boxes Of Food You Buy, As Each One Will Have A Disclaimer: This Will Vary With Your Microwave. Loosely Translated, This Means, You're On Your Own, Bernice.

I Have Paid As Much As $300 A Night To Throw Up Into A Sink Shaped Like A Seashell.