No One Diets On Thanksgiving.

A Grandparent Will Accept Your Calls From Anywhere, Collect.

On Vacations: We Hit The Sunny Beaches Where We Occupy Ourselves Keeping The Sun Off Our Skin, The Saltwater Off Our Bodies, And The Sand Out Of Our Belongings.

I Have Paid As Much As $300 A Night To Throw Up Into A Sink Shaped Like A Seashell.

Adults Can Take A Simple Holiday For Children And Screw It Up. What Began As A Presentation Of Simple Gifts To Delight And Surprise Children Around The Christmas Tree Has Culminated In A Woman Unwrapping Six Shrimp Forks From Her Dog, Who Drew Her Name.

Never Have More Children Than You Have Car Windows.