I'm Eighteen Years Behind In My Ironing.

Tennis Is Like Marrying For Money. Love Means Nothing.

Do I Believe In Witchcraft? I'm The Result Of It.

Isn't My Fur Stole Pitiful? How Unsuccessful Can A Girl Look? People Think I'm Wearing Anchovies. The Worst Of It Is, I Trapped These Under My Own Sink.

You've Got To Realize That When All Goes Well, And Everything Is Beautiful, You Have No Comedy. It's When Somebody Steps On The Bride's Train, Or Belches During The Ceremony That You've Got Comedy!

My Body's In Such Bad Shape I Wear Prescription Underwear.