I'm Eighteen Years Behind In My Ironing.

I Was So Wrinkled I Could Screw My Hats On.

If I Wore A Peek-a-boo Dress, It Would Be Like Turning In A False Alarm.

I'm From Such An Old Family, It's Been Condemned.

When You Hire A Person To Plan Your Wedding, This Does Not Include Securing The Groom. Plan To Get Married On Friday The 13th. In Years To Come This Will Make It Much Easier To Explain Why Things Turned Out Badly. To Look Beautiful At Your Wedding, Take Time To Plan It. It Took Me A Long Time To Find Two Ugly Bridesmaids And A Frumpy Little Flower Girl.

The Reason Women Don't Play Football Is Because 11 Of Them Would Never Wear The Same Outfit In Public.