[when To Have A Facelift:] If You're

When I Go To The Beauty Parlor, I Always Use The Emergency Entrance. Sometimes I Just Go For An Estimate.

To Get A Roaster Clean, Send Something Like Baked Apples In It To A Neighbor. Neighbors Always Return Pans Spotless, And You Won't Have To Use A Blow Torch On It Like You Usually Do.

I Should Have Suspected My Husband Was Lazy. On Our Wedding Day, His Mother Told Me: "i'm Not Losing A Son; I'm Gaining A Couch."

... If They [your Children] Write Their Names In The Dust On The Furniture, Don't Let Them Put The Year.

The Last Thing My Kids Ever Did To Earn Money Was Lose Their Baby Teeth.