[when To Have A Facelift:] If You're

I'm The Only Woman Who Can Walk In Central Park At Night... And Reduce The Crime Rate.

Remember There Is No Way You Can Give The Father Custody Of The Children Without Getting A Divorce.

Maybe It's True That Life Begins At Fifty. But Everything Else Starts To Wear Out, Fall Out, Or Spread Out.

When I Go To Bed At Night, I've Got So Much Grease On My Body I Wear Snow Chains To Hold Up My Gown.

My Husband Is So Cheap. On Christmas Eve, He Fires One Shot And Tells The Kids Santa Committed Suicide.