Home Is Where You Hang Your Head.

Three Years Ago I Came To Florida Without A Nickel In My Pocket. Now I've Got A Nickel In My Pocket

My Brother Thinks He's A Chicken-we Don't Talk Him Out Of It Because We Need The Eggs

Do They Allow Tipping On The Boat? - Yes, Sir. Have You Got Two Fives? - Oh, Yes, Sir. Then You Won't Need The Ten Cents I Was Going To Give You.

When I Invite A Woman To Dinner, I Expect Her To Look At My Face. That's The Price She Has To Pay.

He [groucho's Father] Had Absolutely No Training, And If You Had Ever Seen One Of His Suits, You'd Realize What An Accurate Statement That Is. You See, Pop Never Used A Tape Measure. He Didn't Believe In It. He Said He Could Just Look At A Man And Tell His Size, With The Result That Frequently He'd Make A Pair Of Pants With One Trouser Leg Seven Or Eight Inches Longer Than The Other.