Hey, Did Somebody Step On A Duck?

What A Childhood I Had. Once On My Birthday My Ol' Man Gave Me A Bat. The First Day I Played With It, It Flew Away.

Oh, When I Was A Kid In Show Business I Was Poor. I Used To Go To Orgies To Eat The Grapes.

I Have Tried A Little Kinky Stuff. A Woman Called Me And Said, 'i Have Mirrors All Over My Bedroom. Bring A Bottle.' I Brought Windex.

I Was So Ugly My Mother Used To Feed Me With A Sling Shot.

If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong.