Golf Tip: Lay Off For Three Weeks

Golf Course Architects Make Me Sick. They Can't Play Themselves, So They Rig The Courses So Nobody Else Can Play Either.

Nobody Asked How You Looked, Just What You Shot.

Playing Golf Is Like Eating. It's Something Which Has To Come Naturally.

The Only Place That's Holier Than St. Andrews Is Westminster Abbey.

Keep Close Count Of Your Nickels And Dimes, Stay Away From Whiskey, And Never Concede A Putt.