Baseball Players Are Smarter Than Football Players.

Jim Pagliaroni Joined The Club Tonight And Is Going To Be A Welcome Addition. He Was Describing A Girl That One Of The Ballplayers Had Been Out With And Said, “it's Hard To Say Exactly What She Looked Like. She Was Kind Of Joe Torre With Tits.” This Joke Can Only Be Explained With A Picture Of Joe Torre. But I'm Not Sure Any Exist. He Dissolves Camera Lenses.

Opening Day -- Or Opening Day. Depending On How You Feel About It.

Back Then, If You Had A Sore Arm, The Only People Concerned Were You And Your Wife. Now It's You, Your Wife, Your Agent, Your Investment Counselor, Your Stockbroker, And Your Publisher.

Lots Of People Look Up To Billy Martin. That's Because He Just Knocked Them Down.

A Lot Of Long Relievers Are Ashamed To Tell Their Parents What They Do. The Only Nice Thing About It Is That You Get To Wear A Uniform Like Everbody Else.