Everyone Thinks I'm Jewish. I'm Not. Last

Madeleine Albright, When You See Her, She's Not A Beautiful Woman And She's Getting Older. But You're Saying That Woman Has Gravitas. She Knows What She's Talking About.

I Keep My Stand-up Comedy Notes In A Pile On My Desk. I Don't Organize My Act. I Keep Myself In A State Of Confusion. It Stresses Me Out, But I Prefer Creative Chaos.

I Don't Need A Diet Pill. I Need Something That Gives You An Electric Shock When You Reach For Food.

You Know, I'm A Comedian The Same As Bill Maher And Jon Stewart. We All Came Up The Same Way. The Three Of Us Have Interest In Politics; I Call Us Fundits, We're Fundits! We're Not Pundits!

I Don't Profess To Be An Expert On Anything, Or Have The Memory For Who Ran In 1952. I Am An Informed American Citizen, That's My Position.