I Interviewed Ann Coulter When I Was

I Have A Friend Who Actually Told Me That She'd Rather Be Dead Than Be Fat. This Is A Woman Who, If I Order A Sandwich At Lunch, She'll Order A Salad. If I Order A Salad, She'll Order Half A Cantaloupe. If I Order Half A Cantaloupe, She'll Order A Cup Of Coffee. This Bizarre Contest Continues Until She's Down To Sucking On A Mint-flavored Toothpick. At This Rate, Her Preference For Dying Over Being Fat Could Be A Reality Sooner Than She Thinks.

It's A Completely Useless Emotion - Jealousy. I Don't Go There.

He's A Terrorist. Rush Limbaugh Is A Terrorist.

I Think That Comedy Is A Good Defense For A Child. Because You Know Childhood Is A Nightmare As It Is. And So Why Not Use Comedy And Being Funny As A Defense To Get Through Your Life As Opposed To Drugs, Alcohol And Good Looks? Because Those Things Are Dangerous When Your Young.

Isn't It A Little Racist To Call It Black Friday?