Comedy Is Tragedy Plus Time.

You Have To Go Through The Falling Down In Order To Learn To Walk. It Helps To Know That You Can Survive It. That's An Education In Itself.

If You See A Kid In School, Who Is A Little Shy ... That's When You Should Reach Out. When You Do, You Are Going To Open Up A Flower And Discover Something Wonderful.

People Invite Me To Dinner Not Because I Can Cook, But Because I Like To Clean Up. I Get Immediate Gratification From Windex. Yes, I Do Windows.

It's Almost Impossible To Be Funnier Than The People In Washington.

Daddy, When He Drank, Just Became Sweeter. There Wasn't A Mean Thought In His Body. I've Always Said He Was Like A Drunk Jimmy Stewart.