Bores Put You In A Mental Cemetery

Most Rich People Are The Poorest People I Know.

Don't Try For Wit. Settle For Humor. You'll Last Longer.

Serve The Dinner Backward, Do Anything - But For Goodness Sake, Do Something Weird.

[on The British Museum:] It Was Manifestly Impossible To Read All The Books In That Huge, Gloomy Structure, But I Made A Good Try And Accumulated A Fund Of Useless Information Guaranteed To Cast A Pall Over Any Dinner Table.

To Get Fifty People To A Cocktail Party In New York, You Ask One Hundred. In Hollywood, You Invite Twenty.