The Nicest Present I Ever Got Was

Santa Fe Is Fun To Visit, But Property There Will Cost You An Arm And A Dillo.

When I Was A Kid, My Goodness, Corporate America Was A Bunch Of Stolid White Guys In Gray Suits Trying To Be Serious, And Now It's Stolid White Guys In Gray Suits Trying To Be Funny.

I Give Money To Unicef Because I Like The 'bang For Your Buck' Aspect. Here's $10, Go And Save 1,000 Kids From Blindness!

Every Time I See Dan Quayle I Feel Like Buying A Vowel.

I Used To Get Drunk Every Night Until I Puked. Finally I Admitted, "i Am A Bulemic".