List of Joe Orton Quotes

Reading Isn't An Occupation We Encourage Among Police Officers. We Try To Keep The Paperwork Down To A Minimum.

The Humble And Meek Are Thirsting For Lood

On Our Way Home We Were Waiting For The Bus When A Very Fat, Pompous-looking Woman Reeled Out Of A Pub Shouting, "melancholia? Ad Nauseam."

You Were Born With Your Legs Apart. They'll Send You To The Grave In A Y-shaped Coffin.

God Is A Gentleman. He Prefers Blondes

It's All Any Reasonable Child Can Expect If The Dad Is Present At The Conception.

Fay: The British Police Force Used To Be Run By Men Of Integrity. Truscott: That Is A Mistake Which Has Been Rectified.

I'd The Upbringing A Nun Would Envy. Until I Was Fifteen I Was More Familiar With Africa Than My Own Body.

Every Luxury Was Lavished On You - Atheism, Breastfeeding, Circumcision.

Civilizations Have Been Founded And Maintained On Theories Which Refused To Obey Facts.

The Oscar Wilde Of Welfare State Gentility.

People Think I Write Fantasy, But I Don't; Some Things May Be Exaggerated Or Distorted In The Same Way That Painters Distort And Alter Things, But They're Realistic Figures. They're Perfectly Recognisable.