You Were Born With Your Legs Apart.

It's All Any Reasonable Child Can Expect If The Dad Is Present At The Conception.

The Kind Of People Who Always Go On About Whether A Thing Is In Good Taste Invariably Have Very Bad Taste.

Every Luxury Was Lavished On You - Atheism, Breastfeeding, Circumcision.

On Our Way Home We Were Waiting For The Bus When A Very Fat, Pompous-looking Woman Reeled Out Of A Pub Shouting, "melancholia? Ad Nauseam."

I'd The Upbringing A Nun Would Envy. Until I Was Fifteen I Was More Familiar With Africa Than My Own Body.