It's All Any Reasonable Child Can Expect

I'm Too Amused By The Way People Carry On To Give In To Despair.

The Oscar Wilde Of Welfare State Gentility.

I'd The Upbringing A Nun Would Envy. Until I Was Fifteen I Was More Familiar With Africa Than My Own Body.

The Kind Of People Who Always Go On About Whether A Thing Is In Good Taste Invariably Have Very Bad Taste.

You Were Born With Your Legs Apart. They'll Send You To The Grave In A Y-shaped Coffin.