The Oscar Wilde Of Welfare State Gentility.

People Think I Write Fantasy, But I Don't; Some Things May Be Exaggerated Or Distorted In The Same Way That Painters Distort And Alter Things, But They're Realistic Figures. They're Perfectly Recognisable.

I'm Too Amused By The Way People Carry On To Give In To Despair.

Policemen, Like Red Squirrels, Must Be Protected.

I'd The Upbringing A Nun Would Envy. Until I Was Fifteen I Was More Familiar With Africa Than My Own Body.

The Kind Of People Who Always Go On About Whether A Thing Is In Good Taste Invariably Have Very Bad Taste.