Found A Bunch Of Old Shower Caps

25, 30 Years Ago, That Meant Something, They Were Making Some Money. And They Were Doing All Sorts Of Comedy, Screaming At The Audience, Basically Crowd Control. And Then There Was The Whole Urban Comedy Scene.

And Turkeys Are A Bird. A Very Nervous Bird. You'd Be Nervous Too If You Knew That One Day You'd Get Your Head Cut Off And... Filled With Stuffing.

Today Is A Brand New Day. A Day Of Change, Of Promise, Of Creativity, Of Kindness, And Of Love. I'm Going Back To Bed.

Stop It, Stop Lighting Your Butthol On Fire, And Everybody Listen To Me. If You Light Your Ass On Fire, I Hope You Have Boxers Or A Filter Of Somekind, Because If Your A Bareass Person. Not A Lot Of People Have Done This. Stop It. This Is Why. You Can Cauterize Your Asshole Shut, So When You Fart It Has Nowhere To Go And You Can Have A Fart Attack.

I'm A Believer That When One Door Closes Another One Opens. But Why Does The One Opening Always Hit Me Full-speed-knob-first Into My Nuts?