Youth Is When You Think You'll Live

If You Believe The Past Can't Be Changed, You Haven't Read A Celebrity's Autobiography.

A Man Commented To His Lunch Companion: My Wife Had A Funny Dream Last Night. She Dreamed She'd Married A Millionaire. You're Lucky, Sighed The Companion. My Wife Dreams That In The Daytime.

Inflation Is When You Pay Fifteen Dollars For The Ten-dollar Haircut You Used To Get For Five Dollars When You Had Hair.

The Brain Is Like A Tv Set; When It Goes Blank, It's A Good Idea To Turn Off The Sound.

It's Not The Hours You Put In Your Work That Counts, It's The Work You Put In The Hours.