You Might As Well Like Yourself; Just

A Woman Doing Comedy Doesn't Offend Me, But Sets Me Back A Bit. I, As A Viewer, Have Trouble With It. I Think Of Her As A Producing Machine That Brings Babies In The World.

Every Man's Dream Is To Be Able To Sink Into The Arms Of A Woman Without Also Falling Into Her Hands.

When I Would Be Myself, I Was Being Big-headed. I Was Being Egotistical. I Was A Megalomaniac, When It Really Was Just Having Not To Be A Monkey For A Few Hours A Day. And Fulfilling The Need To Be A Man.

I Really Am Opinionated, But Not For Long. I Have Found Myself Coming Off Of What I Think Of Something Because The Guy I'm Talking To Makes Better Sense Than I Am. I Have So Many Points Of View, I Can't Keep Track Of 'em, Because I Talk To Too Many People... I'm Not So Opinionated That I Won't Budge.

Comedy Is A Man In Trouble. And Without It, There's No Humor.