You Made One Mistake. You Married Me.

Critics Are Like Eunuchs; They Can Tell You What To Do, But They Can't Do It Themselves!

When I'm Talking To People I Like To Stop And Quote Myself. My Quotes Have A Way Of Spicing Up Conversation.

I Was Court-martialled In My Absence, And Sentenced To Death In My Absence, So I Said They Could Shoot Me In My Absence.

He Was Born An Englishman And Remained One For Years.

A General And A Bit Of Shooting Makes You Forget Your Troubles ... It Takes Your Mind Off The Cost Of Living.