You Know You're Getting Fat When You

I'd Much Rather See Richard Pryor Or Jackie Mason In A Theater Than In A Club.

I Can Tell By Your Eye Shadow, You're From Brooklyn, Right? . . . Me Too. My Mother Has Plastic Covers On All The Furniture. Even The Poodle. Looked Like A Barking Hassock Walking Down The Street.

When The Sun Comes Up, I Have Morals Again.

We Have Women In The Military, But They Don't Put Us In The Front Lines. They Don't Know If We Can Fight, If We Can Kill. I Think We Can. All The General Has To Do Is Walk Over To The Women And Say, 'you See The Enemy Over There? They Say You Look Fat In Those Uniforms.'

Wouldn't It Be Great If You Could Only Get Aids By Giving Money To Television Preachers?