When The Sun Comes Up, I Have

My Family Was Totally Non-religious. There Was No Question We Were Jewish, But We Were Not Observant.

I Can Tell By Your Eye Shadow, You're From Brooklyn, Right? . . . Me Too. My Mother Has Plastic Covers On All The Furniture. Even The Poodle. Looked Like A Barking Hassock Walking Down The Street.

I'd Much Rather See Richard Pryor Or Jackie Mason In A Theater Than In A Club.

I've Never Been Able To Write For Stand-up.

There's Only One Difference Between Jews And Catholics. Jews Are Born With Guilt, And Catholics Have To Go To School To Learn It.