When The Sun Comes Up, I Have

San Francisco Is Really Fun And Liberal, And It's My Kind Of Politics. It's Like Being Jewish In Front Of Jewish People.

I Am Thankful That All The People In The World Who Absolutely, Positively, Know What God Wants, Usually Kill Mostly Each Other.

Stand-up Is Like A Movie Every Night. You Write It, Direct It, Produce It, The Audience Votes, And You Go Home. There's Nothing More Satisfying.

There's Only One Difference Between Jews And Catholics. Jews Are Born With Guilt, And Catholics Have To Go To School To Learn It.

It Doesn't Bother Me That I'm Not A Household Word On The East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm So Popular In These Cities Where You've Never Imagined An East Coast Comedian Working.