When The Sun Comes Up, I Have

When I Played The Sahara Hotel In Las Vegas On New Year's Eve, I Got To Bring Wiley, My 85-pound Black Lab. He's Responsible For My Favorite New Year's Memory Of All: At The End Of The Show, He Ran Onstage And Then Out Across All The Tables In The Showroom, Sending Champagne Glasses And Gamblers Flying.

Men In Power Always Seem To Get Involved In Sex Scandals, But Women Don't Even Have A Word For 'male Bimbo.' Except Maybe 'senator.

You Know You Are In Love When You Are Willing To Share Your Cash-machine Number.

I Think When You Take Off That Jacket And They See That ‘i Love Grandma’ T-shirt, They’re Going To Rip Your Heart Out.

My Mother Always Said You Could Eat Off Her Floor; You Could Eat Of My Floor Too, There's So Much Food Down There.