You Have Such A Huge Career ...

I Had A Life Experience That Most Of My - That None Of My Friends Had. I Remember I Became Everybody's Rabbi. Everybody Who Needed Advice Would Talk To Me, And It Became An Obvious Thing.

I Want The Roast To Be Like A Party Where Everybody Goes And Has A Good Time.

It Really Bothers Me When Some People Say That All Cops Are Racist. Of Course That's Not True. Most Of You Are Just [expletive] To Everybody.

My Best Friend Is Disabled. There's Nothing He Hates More Than Being Left Out Of The Jokes, To Be Treated With Kid Gloves. That's The Insult.

With Everybody Having A Facebook And A Twitter, I Feel Like Regular People Consider Themselves Stars. It's A Live, Real-time Upload Of Every Time We Buy A Pair Of Socks, The Most Telling Sign That We're Losing Our Politeness. When You Know Everything About Somebody, You Can Talk To Them Any Way You Please.