Instead Of Running For President, Why Don’t

My Life And My Career Have Been A Series Of Happy And Not So Happy Accidents.

I Think Jersey Stands Alone, And Because I'm From Jersey, I Never Make Fun Of Where People Are From. I'll Make Fun Of What They Look Like, But I'll Never Make Fun Of Where They Are From. Jersey Is Special.

South Park Called...they Want Their Everything Back.

I'm Pretty Careful About The Things I Say Ahead Of Time. I'm Thoughtful About Not Going Too Far. The Only Thing You Can Do Occasionally Is Be Too Much.

My Own Personal Rule Is To Tell Jokes That I Think The Person I'm Making Them About Can Laugh At, To Go Home And Tell Their Family, Oh, My Gosh.