Life Is Tough, And If We Don't

Comedy Comes From Pain, And No One Knows That Better Than This Woman Roseanne Barr—who Was Molested As A Child. Uch. That Poor Molester. Roseanne Never Got Over It. She Felt Violated. She Had Trust Issues. She Never Got The Candy He Promised Her.

Comedians A Lot Of Times We're On The Road, We're By Our Self. We Come Home To New York To Our Empty One-bedroom Apartment, You Know, And We Need A Place To Go Where You See A Bunch Of Other Miserable People Sit Around And Eat A Corned Beef Sandwich.

As Soon As You Start Analyzing Comedy Is When The World Starts To Fall Apart, And We're Second Guessing It. And We Are Way Too Sensitive.

People Are Not Afraid To Be Very Direct With Police. And I Think That's Part Of The Problem Is That People Are Angry At The Cops And Then The Cops Are Stressed Out And They, You Know, Pay It Backwards, So To Speak.

Last Time I Was In Canada Celine Dion Had Just Given Birth To Identical Twins. Which Is Quite An Achievement Given Her Age And Face.