Life Is Tough, And If We Don't

My Own Personal Rule Is To Tell Jokes That I Think The Person I'm Making Them About Can Laugh At, To Go Home And Tell Their Family, Oh, My Gosh.

I've Actually Tried To Roast Somebody That I Don't Like, And It Doesn't Go Well. Either They're A Bad Sport Or I'm Not As Funny As I Could Be.

Comedy Comes From Pain, And No One Knows That Better Than This Woman Roseanne Barr—who Was Molested As A Child. Uch. That Poor Molester. Roseanne Never Got Over It. She Felt Violated. She Had Trust Issues. She Never Got The Candy He Promised Her.

I Usually Have Sex To My Stand-up Comedy Album. Power Move.

Ninety Percent Of All Prisoners In All Jails Get Out Some Day. So Why Not Give Them A Little Levity In What's Otherwise A Very Dark Life?