You Got A Gun, You Don't Have

The Material Comes From Whenever You Realize That You And Someone Else Have Something In Common. So Any Conversation You've Had More Than Once, Anything You See Happening To You That You See Happening To A Friend, You Go, Hmmm, That's A Situation I Can Make Funny.

I Don't Get High, But Sometimes I Wish I Did. That Way, When I Messed Up In Life I Would Have An Excuse. But Right Now There's No Rehab For Stupidity.

I'm An Independent, But I Got To Admit I Lean Democratic.

An Entertainer's Reputation As A Live Act Is The Most Valuable Thing He Or She Can Have. If People Know You Give Good Shows, You'll Never Be Broke For The Rest Of Your Life.

Actually, I Think All Addiction Starts With Soda. Every Junkie Did Soda First. But No One Counts That. Maybe They Should. The Soda Connection Is Clear. Why Isn't A Presidential Commission Looking Into This? Or At Least Some Guys From The National Carbonation Council.