My Mother Is The Kind Of Woman

You Can Only Offend Me If You Mean Something To Me.

One Of My Daughters Told Me The Other Day, "kevin Hart Is Funnier Than You, Daddy." I Told Her, "does Kevin Hart Make You Pancakes?"

The Thing I Try To Get Across To The Writers - And I Do A Lot Of Writing, Too - Is That When I Do Stand-up, Nothing I Talk About Is Funny. Everything Is Really Sad And Tragic And Then I Make It Funny.

Most Parts In Comedy, They're Not Really Written For Men. They're Written For, Like, These Boy-men.

Stand-up Comedy Is Like The Lowest Medium In All Of Show Business In Levels Of Respect.