My Kids Don't Have A Trust Fund,

I'm In Show Business... I Want To Hang Out With Janet Jackson, Not Jesse Jackson.

The Thing About Having An Audience Right There Laughing Is That Critics Can Write What They Want, But The Proof Is Right There In Front Of You.

You Just Got To Be Really Logical When You're A Comedian - To A Fault. Like A Lawyer's Got To Believe In The Law.

A Black Christian Is Like A Black Person With No Memory.

Whoever You Hate Will End Up In Your Family. You Don't Like Gays? You're Gonna Have A Gay Son. You Don't Like Puerto Ricans? Your Daughter's Gonna Come Home With Livin' La Vida Loca!