You Cannot Win In A Fight Against

The Thing That Surprised Me The Most Is Just How Much Money Women That Weren't Rich Were Paying For Their Hair. When You're In A Beauty Parlor In Harlem Next To Abandoned Buildings And Somebody's Paying Five Grand For A Weave, That's A Bit Much. I Think This Is, In A Weird Way, Part Of The Health Care Debate. It's Like, Hmm, There's People With $2000 Weaves That Could Have Bought Health Care With That Weave Money.

When You Die At 72, No Matter What You Die Of, It's Natural Causes. Even If You Get Hit By A Truck, It's Natural Causes. 'cause If You Was Younger, You'd Have Got Out The Way!

I Know What You're Thinking: Why Is Chris Rock Bagging Groceries? But I Dropped Out Of High School In The Tenth Grade, So If I Couldn't Tell Jokes This Is Exactly What I'd Be Doing.

I Was Raised To Believe That You Had To Do Things Better Than White People In Order To Succeed. The Old Black Shows Were Better Than The White Shows. "the Jeffersons" (1975) Was A Lot Better. "good Times" (1974) Was Way Funnier. "sanford And Son" (1972). Now, Though, Everyone Thinks We're Equal, So We Submit The Same Shit That Everyone Else Submits. And Then We Get Mad When They Won't Air It. You Got To Go Back To The Old Attitude Of It Has To Be Twice As Good.

I Never Watched The Oscars. Come On, It's A Fashion Show . . . What Straight Black Man Sits There And Watches The Oscars? Show Me One. And They Don't Recognize Comedy, And You Don't See A Lot Of Black People Nominated, So Why Should I Watch It?