You Are More Important To Yourself Than

Never Say [to Younger People] "that Was Before Your Time," Because The Last Full Moon Was Before Their Time!

My Mother Comes In My Room And Says, "just Look At This Mess! This Is A Pig Sty!" Now, I've Already Been In The Room Five Hours, And She Wants Me To Look At It.

Any Husband Who Says, "my Wife And I Are Completely Equal Partners," Is Talking About Either A Law Firm Or A Hand Of Bridge.

Every Father Says The Same Thing: “where's Your Mother?”

My Father Wanted Me To Play Pro Football, And He Didn't Like The Fact That I'd Left School. And He Said, "it Takes A Man To Play Football. And Any Fool Can Go Up On The Stage And Make An Ass Of Himself.