Yeah, I Read History. But It Doesn't

You Know Why I Feel Older? I Went To Buy Sexy Underwear And They Automatically Gift Wrapped It.

Nothing Is Yours Permanently So You Better Enjoy It While It's Happening.

Looking 50 Is Great, If You're 60.

My Love Life Is Like A Piece Of Swiss Cheese; Most Of It's Missing, And What's There Stinks.

People Say That Money Is Not The Key To Happiness, But I Always Figured If You Have Enough Money, You Can Have A Key Made.