If God Wanted Us To Bend Over

Obama Came In And Said He Was Going Turn Everything Around, And You Can't. Give The Guy A Break. But I Question A Lot Of What's Happening. It's Certainly Going To Reflect In My Vote, But Who Else Is There? It's A Horrible Time, Because People Vote Party Lines Instead Of What's Good For The Country. I Think The Whole Health Care Issue Turned So Ugly, Because Of Party Lines, And That's Not What That's Supposed To Be About.

Is Elizabeth Taylor Fat? Her Favorite Food Is Seconds.

But You Do Have To Learn, If You Want To Be A Satirist, You Can't Be Part Of The Party. Meaning, You Can't Go Horseback Riding With Jackie O In Central Park If You're Going To Make A Joke About Her That Night.

You Have To Do More Than Just Kill Time Or Time Will Quickly Kill You.

I'm Sure Some Of You Are Wondering Whether My Breasts Are Real. Let Me Just Explain To You. This One Is, This One Isn't.