Would You Put A Pastrami In Your

I Am Excited About Getting Back To What I Do Best And What My Audience Likes Best, I Am Writing New Jokes Every Day And Soon Ill Be Telling Them Every Night. Just Me, One Jew Talking And That's It.

Predictions Are Preposterous. What Usually Happens Is That People Tell You That What They'd Like To See Happen Instead Of What They Really Think Will Happen. There Are So Many Variations And Possibilities That There's No Way To Ever Really Know For Certain.

They Call It Football, But The Object Of The Game Is To Bash The Other Guy So Hard That He's Eventually Carried Off The Field On A Stretcher. I Can't Watch Football Anymore. My Psychiatrist Said It's Better That Way. I Used To Watch A Game, See The Players In A Huddle - And Think They Were Talking About Me.

It's Not A Query Of Staying Wholesome. It's A Query Of Discovering A Illness You Want.

Eighty Percent Of Married Men Cheat In America. The Rest Cheat In Europe.