Predictions Are Preposterous.

It Is Easy To Tell The Difference Between Jews And Gentiles. After The Show, All The Gentiles Are Saying 'have A Drink? Want A Drink? Let's Have A Drink!' While All The Jews Are Saying 'have You Eaten Yet? Want A Piece Of Cake? Let's Have Some Cake!

Why Is It That They Have Bibles In Every Motel Room? Why Should A Man Want To Read The Bible When He's With A Woman Alone In A Motel Room? Why Would He Be Interested? Whatever He's Praying For, He's Already Got!

Jews Are Told That They Should Spend Their Lives Helping Others And When They Make A Lot Of Money It Really Bothers Them. So, As A Way To Decrease Their Guilt, They Try To Help The Underdog. They Think, "why Should I Be Rich When So Many Suffer?" They Feel Better Once They Run To The Party That Claims To Defend The Underdog, The Democrats.

My Material Is As New As Anything On The Dinner Table. What Difference Does It Make If I'm 70 Or If I'm 20? The Audience Knows They Aren't Getting Any Old Stories From Me.

I Was So Self -conscious, Every Time Football Players Went Into A Huddle, I Thought They Were Talking About Me.