Words Matter. Especially Ones With Four Letters.

My Confidence Wavers Between Being Genuine And Being Insecure.

Met A Girl The Other Nite And Told Her- Before You Can Be With Someone You Have To Know The Value Of Yourself. So Does $200 Seem Reasonable?

The Other Day My Twelve-year-old Says To Me, I Don't Feel Like I'm With You Right Now. You're In The Car With Me, You're Checking Your E-mail, You're Not Listening To Me, I Don't Feel Like I'm With You. And I Say, You Know What? That Was Your Mother's Gripe, Too. And She Was Right. And You're Also Correct. When You Cop To Something, You Get To The Next Level. In This Case, The Next Level Is: I Just Learned Something From My Twelve-year-old.

I Love Watching People Get Hit In The Crotch. But Only If They Get Back Up. If Their Teeth Are Bleeding, If They're Really Hurt, If An Ambulance Has To Come, I'm Not Laughing.

Some Dead People Said Smart Stuff.