When You Can Look Forward, And The

A Good Film Is When The Price Of The Dinner, The Theatre Admission And The Babysitter Were Worth It.

These Are Bagpipes. I Understand The Inventor Of The Bagpipes Was Inspired When He Saw A Man Carrying An Indignant, Asthmatic Pig Under His Arm. Unfortunately, The Man-made Sound Never Equalled The Purity Of The Sound Achieved By The Pig.

Drama Is Real Life With All The Boring Parts Cut Out.

This Weapon [an Ax] Is Primitive But Effective. And It's Also Guaranteed To Be Fifty-percent Painless. You See, It Takes Two People To Operate, And The Person At This End [the Handle] Doesn't Feel A Thing.

I Have A Perfect Cure For A Sore Throat: Cut It.