When Women Are Depressed, They Eat Or

Real Comedy Can't Be Learned; It Comes From A Need For Justice. The Best Who Stand Up, Stand Up For Something.

I Have No Complaints About Losing Money I Put In High-risk Investments. I Did Some Of That When I Had Real Money; My Informed Choice, My Measured Gamble.

I've Never Been Married, But I Tell People I'm Divorced So They Won't Think Something Is Wrong With Me.

I Wasn't Funny As A Kid. I Remember Enjoying Comedians, But I Never Understood It Was A Job Choice Or A Profession.

Stand-up Is Like A Movie Every Night. You Write It, Direct It, Produce It, The Audience Votes, And You Go Home. There's Nothing More Satisfying.