I've Never Been Married, But I Tell

You Know You Are In Love When You Are Willing To Share Your Cash-machine Number.

My Family Was Totally Non-religious. There Was No Question We Were Jewish, But We Were Not Observant.

Stand-up Is Like A Movie Every Night. You Write It, Direct It, Produce It, The Audience Votes, And You Go Home. There's Nothing More Satisfying.

Comedy Is A Blood Sport. It Flays The Truth And Spurts Twisted Logic. In America, People Become Comics Because We Don't Have Bullfighting.

My Mother Always Said You Could Eat Off Her Floor; You Could Eat Of My Floor Too, There's So Much Food Down There.