When I Was A Kid, I Slept

Countries Are Making Nuclear Weapons Like There Is No Tomorrow.

I Asked God For A Bike, But I Know God Doesn't Work That Way. So I Stole A Bike And Asked For Forgiveness.

The Way I Understand It, The Russians Are Sort Of A Combination Of Evil And Incompetence... Sort Of Like The Post Office With Tanks.

When I Went To College, My Parents Threw A Going Away Party For Me, According To The Letter.

My Mother Was Like A Sister To Me, Only We Didn't Have Sex Quite So Often.