Interviewers Always Used To Ask Me About

I'll Do Anything For My Wife, It's Turning Out.

People Come Up To Me And Say, 'emo, Do People Really Come Up To You?'

My Mother Was Like A Sister To Me, Only We Didn't Have Sex Quite So Often.

I Pray A Simple Prayer Every Morning. It's An Ecumenical Prayer. Whether You're Catholic Or Jewish Or Muslim Or Hindu, I Think It Speaks To The Heart Of Every Faith. It Goes “lord Please Break The Laws Of The Universe For My Convenience. Amen.”

I Told My Wife She Looks Sexy With Black Fingernails. Now She Thinks I Slammed The Car Door On Her Hand On Purpose.