When I Was A Kid And We

I'm The Woman Who Used To Think That Middle-age Spread Was A Cocktail Dip.

I Was The World's Ugliest Baby. When I Was Born, The Doctor Slapped Everybody.

Once Fang Took Pep Pills And They Worked - The Only Time He Ever Ran To Bed.

Next To Gold And Jewelry, Health Is The Most Important Thing You Can Have.

A Friend Told Me The Longer You Keep Romano Cheese, The Better It Gets. So, I Kept It Three Years. And This Thing Turned Mean. Now And Then I'd Open The Refrigerator Door And Throw It Some Food. I'd Have To Walk It Now And Then. And Then It Grew This One Leg. And It's Got This Ugly Fuzz All Over It. And The Dogs Won't Run With It.