Next To Gold And Jewelry, Health Is

My Plastic Surgeon ... Said My Face Looked Like A Bouquet Of Elbows.

Fang And I Are Always Fighting. When We Get Up In The Morning, We Don't Kiss; We Touch Gloves.

My Sister-in-law Is So Skinny That She Has A Striped Dress With Only One Stripe.

I Was The World's Ugliest Baby. I Have Photos Of My Folks Leaving The Hospital With Sacks Over Their Heads... I Asked My Mother How To Turn Off The Electric Fan. She Said 'grab The Blade!

Life Began On This Planet When The First Amoeba Split. Mankind Will Still Be Seeking God, Not Accepting That God Is A Spirit; Can't See It, Touch It, Only Feel It. It's Called Love.