When I Was A Boy, I Laid

I Spilled Some Vodka On The Carpet, And I Vacuumed It Up, And The Vacuum Got Drunk. I Had To Take The Hoover To Detox.

Here's A Thought For Sweat Shop Owners: Air Conditioning. Problem Solved.

I Mumble A Lot When Im Off Stage, So A Lot Of Times When Im With A Friend I'll Say Something And He'll Be Like What, And I'll Say It Again And He'll Be Like What, And I'll Say It Again And He'll Still Be Like What, So Now He's Got Me Yellin. Man That Tree Is Far Away

I Thought I'd Go To A Craft Fair, And There Would Be A Jar Of Jellybeans There - "guess How Many Jellybeans Are In This Jar, And Win A Prize". Aw, Come On, Man, Let Just Me Have Some. I'll Tell You What, Guess How Many Jellybeans I Want! If You Guessed A Handful, You Are Right.

I Have Found When I Look At An Audience That The Expressions On The Peoples' Faces Aren't Always Up To Par With The Sounds That They're Making. A Crowd Can Sound Like They're Having A Good Time When Your Eyes Are Closed But If You Open Your Eyes, The Looks On Some Of Those Faces Don't Equal The Sound.